Sunday, March 10, 2013

Who's Got a Friend in Me?

"You see how picky I am about my shoes, and they only go on my feet."
                                                                                             -Cher, Clueless

You know those people who have a ton of friends? The ones who are always out to dinner with this girl or that guy, zipping off to birthday celebrations, meeting people for drinks, or discussing some sort of plans to do something with someone (or a bunch of someones)?

I can't stand them.

Well, maybe saying I can't stand them isn't accurate

yes it is, yes it is, yes it is

but I have no respect for people who will be friends with just anyone.

Call me an elitist if you must, but most people don't do it for me. Either I click with someone, or I don't. There really is no middle ground. Either you have that thing that calls to me, that thing that makes me want you around, that thing that makes me want to spend time with you, or you make me feel awkward and uncomfortable, tensely perched on the edge of my seat, afraid to be me. Where I'm concerned, it truly is one or the other, and I can usually tell which one you're going to be about one minute from the time we meet.

And it's always been like that.


Those names up there? In mostly chronological order, they're the clicks.*

Now, lest you think I'm a total bitch who doesn't give people enough of a chance, let me say that's not true. About five years ago, I was befriended by a teacher at work who falls into the will-be-friends-with-anyone-and-everyone category. We hung out many times. Over the course of a couple years, we went to movies, we went to eat, I went to her house, we sent texts, we talked on the phone--and it was wrong. I don't exactly know how to explain the wrongness of it so you'll understand, but maybe if I say it was wrong in the way that wearing shoes with socks that are too loose is wrong, it'll help because that's the kind of wrong it was. Livable; possible; but uncomfortable.**

*virtual friends not included  

**read, imagine, repeat