Time Will Come Someday

I went a little crazy last week, I have to admit.

A couple blogs ago, I told you that I found out Glenn went on a date and was on a dating site (OK Cupid if you're curious). The date I didn't really care about--the dating site I did, but probably not for the reason you think. The dating site I cared about not because of the possibility of it facilitating his going on a date--if you saw his profile, you'd know there's no danger of that--but because for months he'd been accusing me of doing shady things, which I absolutely was not, and meanwhile, there he was, on a dating website.

Hypocritical much?

You know how a couple paragraphs ago I said I didn't care about Glenn having gone on a date? Remember that?

I kind of lied, and by kind of, I mean I absolutely, positively, one-hundred percent lied.

But if it makes you feel any less lied to, it was the truth at first.

At first, when I was snooping around Glenn's Facebook messages and saw that he went to meet some girl--Randy Cocks, people--

Randy fucking Cocks!

(all right, the spelling of her name may be a little different, but phonetically, it seriously is Randy Cocks. Have you ever?)--

I wasn't very worried. I saw that she has kids, which is totally not Glenn's cup of tea, and after reading their messages, it didn't seem like Glenn was terribly interested. And even if he was, even if something did happen, would it really have been the end of the world? He wouldn't have been doing anything I hadn't done in the past.

For a few days, that was my attitude. Seriously!

But then, a few days later, I went on his Facebook again, and there she was, Ms. Horny Organ, leaving comments and liking things all over the place, and even worse, friends of his were liking the comments she was leaving. And we all know what that means.

So last week, Griffin and Keifer were out of town on a field trip from Monday to Friday. Monday and Tuesday were pretty uneventful but on Wednesday and Thursday, things were...not.

I don't remember what started our fight on Wednesday, only that it was me. Same thing on Thursday. (Seriously, I'd be shocked if any fight you ever hear about involving me and Glenn is started by him. If it were up to him, we'd talk never.)

We fought for hours on Thursday--hours--and by the time I went to bed at 2, a picture had been pulled off the wall and beaten on the floor repeatedly, a lint brush thrown at the tile floor, my bike violently turned over and hurled at the floor hard enough to crack the wood, and in a fit of madness, screams were screamed so loudly they terrified Jazzy into having diarrhea. (I don't want to point any fingers, but Glenn was the perpetrator of none of these things.)

I guess if you want to get technical, you might be able to say I kind of had a breakdown.

But that's not important. That's not what this is about. This is about Glenn, Frisky Love Shaft, and their (non) date.

What started out as me not caring had become almost total paranoia in the week since I'd found out about their meeting, and I kept bringing her up. Glenn, who kept insisting it wasn't a date, told me that if he did go on a date, it certainly wouldn't be with  Lascivious Member who has three kids from different guys, and I knew he was telling the truth; after all, that had been my instinct in the first place.

As soon as he said that sentence, I felt better. Less tense.

And that lasted about a minute. Maybe two.

I may be safe where Hot Prick is concerned, but I think an exclamatory whew! uttered while exaggeratedly wiping off my furrowed brow might be a little bit premature.

It might not be Lustful Penis.

But it's coming.