So here's the thing. When I fall in love with someone, even if it's just a tiny little bit, I can't give up. I could tell you stories--boy, could I tell you stories--but I won't. We'll just suffice it to say that if I put half the effort into my writing that I put into loving the people that I love, I wouldn't be sitting in a kitchen in Davie blogging for you right this second (my lack of motivation says you're welcome).
And with that being said--or not said to a degree--La Dispute Guy is back.
I know what I wrote in my last post. I became LDG's on-the-way-to-Miami girl; I was an inconsequential plaything he could entertain himself with when it was convenient; our relationship--or nelationship, if I can coin a term--was a be-sad-that-I-was-having-a-relationship-via-Snapchat type of thing, and well, in regard to those things, all I have to say is yes. Fine. True. It's all true. But at the same time, I also have to say it's not.
People are complicated, and not everything is exactly what it seems.
But to explain that statement, I'd have to explain him, and that's not my place.
So instead I'll explain me and tell you how I got where I am.
The day after LDG and I stopped talking for good--or, if you want to get technical, nine days--I was reflexively swiping through Tinder like I do when I'm bored when I saw this guy Nico who I was talking to last year for almost four weeks in June and July until a combination of things made me tell him I wanted to end whatever it is we had. I've seen him several times over the past year or so and always swiped left, but this time, feeling bad about LDG, I swiped right, and of course, we matched (I say of course not to be conceited but because there'd be no story if we hadn't). He messaged me right away telling me what a surprise it was and from that second didn't leave me alone, and when I say he didn't leave me alone, I'm talking he was attentive with a capital A: in maybe the most romantic gesture anyone has ever made for me, two days after we matched, he left his job that a quick Mapquest check now tells me is 8.8 miles away just to kiss me and then went immediately back to work. I should have swooned.
I did not, in fact, swoon.
What I did was lament that he wasn't LDG, and what I did a couple days later when his messages became the stuff of serious couples was tell him I just stopped seeing someone and we were moving too fast, and what I did almost every time he messaged me after that was want to cry, and if anything was obvious to me from my experience with Nico, it was that La Dispute Guy belongs in my life and any other boy, far from being a distraction, is a mere juxtaposition highlighting all that La Dispute Guy is.
And so La Dispute Guy and I are embroiled in a nelationship via Snapchat once again. The difference is that this time around, I want nothing from him that he isn't ready to give. I just want him in my life and am happy that he is.
And with that being said--or not said to a degree--La Dispute Guy is back.
I know what I wrote in my last post. I became LDG's on-the-way-to-Miami girl; I was an inconsequential plaything he could entertain himself with when it was convenient; our relationship--or nelationship, if I can coin a term--was a be-sad-that-I-was-having-a-relationship-via-Snapchat type of thing, and well, in regard to those things, all I have to say is yes. Fine. True. It's all true. But at the same time, I also have to say it's not.
People are complicated, and not everything is exactly what it seems.
But to explain that statement, I'd have to explain him, and that's not my place.
So instead I'll explain me and tell you how I got where I am.
The day after LDG and I stopped talking for good--or, if you want to get technical, nine days--I was reflexively swiping through Tinder like I do when I'm bored when I saw this guy Nico who I was talking to last year for almost four weeks in June and July until a combination of things made me tell him I wanted to end whatever it is we had. I've seen him several times over the past year or so and always swiped left, but this time, feeling bad about LDG, I swiped right, and of course, we matched (I say of course not to be conceited but because there'd be no story if we hadn't). He messaged me right away telling me what a surprise it was and from that second didn't leave me alone, and when I say he didn't leave me alone, I'm talking he was attentive with a capital A: in maybe the most romantic gesture anyone has ever made for me, two days after we matched, he left his job that a quick Mapquest check now tells me is 8.8 miles away just to kiss me and then went immediately back to work. I should have swooned.
I did not, in fact, swoon.
What I did was lament that he wasn't LDG, and what I did a couple days later when his messages became the stuff of serious couples was tell him I just stopped seeing someone and we were moving too fast, and what I did almost every time he messaged me after that was want to cry, and if anything was obvious to me from my experience with Nico, it was that La Dispute Guy belongs in my life and any other boy, far from being a distraction, is a mere juxtaposition highlighting all that La Dispute Guy is.
And so La Dispute Guy and I are embroiled in a nelationship via Snapchat once again. The difference is that this time around, I want nothing from him that he isn't ready to give. I just want him in my life and am happy that he is.
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