Thursday, May 10, 2012

Canon in Kel

I regret to inform you that I'm no longer able to satisfy your voyeuristic curiosity and my exhibitionist tendencies with the click of the "PUBLISH POST" button. My blog's not going away or anything, but the days of open, minimally censored communication are over--for the time being, at least.

I'm sure it's no surprise to any of you, just like it's no surprise to me, that Glenn reads my blogs--because, hello, who wouldn't read a blog that chronicled every aspect of one part of his or her life?--but I never really thought about exactly what that meant before--I'm guessing because before the (very) immediate past, I didn't really care. But that's kinda sorta different now in a way that I apparently can't explain even when I try, so I won't even bother.

What I can explain is that about a week and a half or two weeks ago, I started feeling bad--really bad. I started getting super mopey, and I started thinking that maybe I was making a mistake--I wasn't sure, though, and not being sure was making me feel even worse. I wasn't sure if I was mopey and thought I was making a mistake because I'd been with Glenn for so long or if I was mopey and thought I was making a mistake because I really, truly was making a mistake. The one thing I knew for sure was that I loved him, but like Patty Smyth and Don Henley told everybody who tuned into easy listening stations back in 1992, Baby, sometimes love just ain't enough.

And that, readers, brings us to the next question that made me miserable. If love isn't enough, then what is? A family that consists of the two of us and a Griffin and a Keifer and a Hudson and a Jazzy? Having somebody who will sit next to me on the couch and eat dinner with me and walk the dog with me and go grocery shopping with me and hold my hand for the next forty eight years (you know, because I'm going to die at 85)? Having somebody to talk to about my day and his day and the kids' days? Family discussions about Harry Potter and Star Wars and the evolution of Blink-182 and Tom DeLonge getting fat and Mark Hoppus looking old and running and '80s movies and Joss Whedon being a sadistic bastard? Watching the kids' plays and dance competitions and recitals together? Ten years' worth of holiday French toast on ten consecutive Christmas mornings? The fact that Glenn was the only person I wanted around when Sandy, the dog I grew up with, got hit by a car and was killed right in front of me? Road trips to Chicago and New Orleans and Charlotte and Colonial Williamsburg and some place so small in North Carolina that the "city" might not have an actual name? An 18 year investment with a combined 36 birthdays between the two of us, 18 Christmases, 17 anniversaries of the day Glenn first told me he loved me, 13--14 tomorrow--wedding anniversaries, and 22 kids' birthdays? The fact that Glenn is cuter than almost anyone I've ever met in my life and for the past two days I've wanted nothing more than for him to be on top of me and experienced more inner conflict than a character in an after school special about whether or not to get into figurative bed with him on his sadly-not-so-figurative couch?

Can somebody please tell me what constitutes "enough"?
Because right now, I feel like I've had it.


  1. I don't exactly value the opinion of someone who wants to see a marriage fail. You lack credibility. And obviously something fulfilling in your life if you're so concerned with mine. Aww, I'm sorry your life is empty, nasty person.

  2. this is the definition of most of your blogs. pointing fingers is obtuse.

    1. I'm sorry, but I have a difficult time following the rationale of people who make no sense. The "definition" of most of my blogs is me stating that you lack credibility? Or the "definition" of most of my blogs is "pointing fingers"? Because neither of these things is a definition. Also, pointing a finger cannot be obtuse. Obtuse means slow to understand. You might make the argument that "pointing fingers" is ineffective or immature or even the actions of someone who has no better way to deal with something, but stating that "pointing fingers" is obtuse is just...well, it's just obtuse.

      My argument with you is finished. While I do love to argue, I find no joy in doing it with people of inferior intelligence who don't know how to properly wield their words. I'm sorry that you're not only mean, but also kind of dumb (and I'd guess not very attractive (I'm picturing pockmarks)and possibly even fat, but that's just a hunch).

  3. lol Ms. McIntyre why are you being so stingy towards the guy? (I figured it must be a guy...)

  4. I feel like it's a guy, too, and the guy's an ass. This isn't the only blog he's commented on, and he's not only an ass, but he's a jerk. I have no patience for stupidity. You should know that.