Monday, April 23, 2012

Baby, It's Cold Inside

Now that I'm almost two days removed from my stupid Saturday-night actions, I realize that I totally overreacted yesterday and made them seem much worse than they really were. That being said, please don't make the mistake of thinking that everything (read: anything) is even close to fine because it's not; things are far from fine; in fact, if I had to say how far from fine they are, I'd have to go with saying that they're hell-and-gone from Cartagena fine. And as far as fine goes, that's not fine at all.

It's just that I'm so sad. So unbelievably, devastatingly, sad. So put-my-head-down-on-my-desk-and-sob, want-to-crawl-into-bed-and-never-get-out sad.

And you know what I want to cover myself with when I get into that bed that I never want to get out of? My afghan. My extra-warm, six-foot long, one-hundred-and-sixty pound afghan knit with brown and white and pink and hazel yarn imported from both Scotland and Germany. But that afghan...well that's an afghan I can't use. Do you know why?

You don't have to answer. I know you know. You know I know you know. We all know. We all know that the afghan of which I speak isn't an afghan that's an option. We know that I can't use that brown and white and pink and hazel afghan for comfort or to keep out the cold, no matter how badly I want to wrap myself with its warmth. We know that I'm so badly in need of a blanket right now that I'd wrap myself in almost any afghan I happened to come across and that if I were to use that particular afghan, that brown and white and pink and hazel afghan, I'd eventually get so warm and weighed down beneath its heaviness that I'd start to suffocate and be unable to breathe until I eventually pulled it off and hurled it to the floor, where it would sit, untouched, until I felt uncomfortably cold once again.

And afghans, we know, have feelings, too.


  1. Just let the guy go already. You said it yourself, you only want him because you're lonely. From your past blogs, he's ruined your life. Give it time and you won't even think about that afghan when you're cold.

    1. Settle down. He's been let go. Sorry if my mind wanders to the man I've been with for eighteen years of my life. And I'm sorry, but you're wrong. I don't get over things easily, and I'll always think about him, whether we're together or not.

  2. I was never upset and you two are not together, correct? So there's no point in saying you'll think about him if you are together or not because there is only NOT. I mean I saw he said he wouldn't sign the papers but that changes nothing. Your mind does seem to wander quite a bit. When you get a new afghan you'll be less inclined to think about this afghan. Of course you'll think about him occasionally, you're only human.

  3. Anonymous, give her a break. This is one of the most painful things anyone goes through and you expect her to get over it in a couple months? I'd guess that your forays into love haven't been that deep since you don't seem to realize that this is going to take time and that it da,m well should. She will earl on her own time and she has the total right to have any emotion she has right now. Have a heart, here's is broken right now.

  4. As I have read it, it has been over longer than a couple of months. It was just unsaid. I could be completely disinformed but her blog last week he is not, nor could he ever be, what she wants. If this is merely someone's mind wandering to the past, then I apologize. If it is someone realizing that the grass is not greener and he is what she wants, she should size this moment before it is too late. More than that, perhaps the blogger should listen to her inner voice.

  5. let's not forget the two little afghans she made with that afghan and that she will forever be connected to that afghan through the two little ones she made with him. So that afghan will forever be a part of her life, no matter what.

  6. Who the hell is this nosy, snobby Anonymous who keeps commenting ????? Atrocious