Caught in a Mosh

*We interrupt this regularly scheduled divorce to bring you the following message: Glenn has refused to sign the divorce papers. This is not a test. I repeat, this is not a test. Glenn has, in fact, refused to sign the divorce papers.*

So, uh...yeah. You read that right. When I got home from work yesterday, I emailed Glenn about the child sharing plan, and he responded with a refusal and the news that he would not, as previously discussed, be granting me a divorce. Apparently, he talked to a complete ass who convinced him that he should fight for us and not just let me go. Thanks to the advice of this moron, I now have to have a contested divorce instead of an uncontested one, which essentially means that I'll be spending way more time and money to end up at the exact same place I would have ended up anyway. I look at it like this: it's like driving to work. If I leave my house at 6:50 in the morning, turn left on Nova Drive, right on University, right on Miramar Parkway, and left on Douglas Road, I end up at Miramar High right around 7:15. If I wanted to, though, I could leave at the same time, turn left on Nova, go to 441, turn right, stop at the Hard Rock, lose a couple hundred dollars, continue down 441, turn right on Pembroke Road and then left on 68th Avenue, stop in front of my old house, get out, knock on the door, tell the new owners I'm feeling nostalgic and ask if I can take a look around, pay them for their time, get back in my car, continue toward Miramar Parkway, turn right but then decide I want to see my other old house, turn left when I pass Publix, drive around Woodscape for a while, go down to County Line Road, turn right, go to University, turn right again, get back to Miramar Parkway, turn left, get to Douglas Road, turn left, and finally end up at work, a lot poorer and a lot later than I should be. Either way I go about it, I'm going to end up in the same place, so why take the more expensive, stress-inducing route? It just doesn't make sense.

Whether it makes sense or not, I know why he's doing it. He thinks there's a chance I'll change my mind, and I'm not really surprised that he thinks that since it's happened twice in the past. He thinks we can work things out and make our relationship right again. The problem with that notion, though, is that our relationship wasn't right in the beginning. I won't deny that we've had happy times, but as far as "right" goes? I can't think of a time that it's ever been that way, and if it was, it's been such a long time that I can't remember.

I know I probably sound selfish, but I just want it all to be over. I absolutely, positively, under no circumstances whatsoever, want to work things out. We've tried that too many times before, and it's something I'm just no longer willing to do. As sad as this whole thing makes me (and, yes, I realize I don't sound all that sad right about now), I just want it to end.

This is Kelly's Year of Yes. The overarching question? I don't know what it is just yet, but I most definitely know what it's not.