Thursday, May 24, 2018

Hold Me Down, Baby

All right, people who read my blog, I'm feeling a little bad. I told Griffin about Hot Hockey Guy earlier today, and he instantly got this sad look on his face and said he felt sorry for Hot Hockey Guy and not at all for me. While he agreed that what Hot Hockey Guy did was inappropriate and yes, he understands why I'm insulted, what really upset him about the situation is the stigma of the small penis. He told me that he and his friends were just having a discussion about this very thing--well, the stigma of the small penis, not guys on dating sites sending dick pics to his mom--and how guys with small penises pretty much have horrible lives.

I didn't tell you guys this yesterday because it wasn't relevant to the story, but Hot Hockey Guy's penis wasn't even particularly small. Sure, I've seen bigger, but I've seen smaller, too. Way. When Griffin told me how bad he felt, I told him that, and he said that it doesn't even matter, that because of porn, where the average penis is eight inches, people have complete misconceptions about the size an average penis is supposed to be, and if a guy thinks he doesn't measure up, his life is pretty much ruined. He said small penises are a factor in depression, suicide, anger, and even serial killing (and a quick Google search told me he isn't wrong).

Hot Hockey Guy, Griffin said while looking like he was going to cry, must have had a really horrible experience or many horrible experiences if the first thing he said to me after hi was literally, Do you care if it's small? Please say no (goddess. Let's not forget that). Imagine, he said, what he must have experienced and how bad he must feel.

So I did plus I thought of the humiliation he must have felt when I chastised him the way that I did--not that he didn't deserve to be chastised--which of course led to me feeling as sorry for him as Griffin looked which now has me veering toward the insane, which admittedly is a pretty easy way for me to veer, considering messaging him like an absolute crazy person on Instagram (because his username was on Bumble don't forget), apologizing for what I'm not quite sure in an effort to what I'm not quite sure of either because really when we analyze this, I'm not going to say the dick pic and obvious presumption that we're going to fuck are okay because they're totally not, and I can't apologize for or make him feel better about the size of his penis, and if anything, the whole thing will probably embarrass him more on top of making me look like an absolute stalker lunatic bitch, but omg Griffin just made me feel so bad so in spite of all of these reasons why I absolutely positively should not direct message this guy--

I think I probably will.  

No comments:

Post a Comment