In addition to Bumble Gym Guy being a lackadaisical ellipter (I'm coining that bitch), let me tell you what else he is: a software engineer. Doesn't sound that bad, right? That's what I thought until we were at Starbucks and he told me where he works.
You're going to be mad at me, he said.
Why? Where do you work? I asked.
Never mind, he answered.
No, where do you work?
I don't want to tell you, he said.
Seriously, where do you work? Like what is this guy, twelve? (Refrain from the jokes, please. He's 28.)
Finally he took my laptop and typed a website in, a website that I'm not allowed to tell you the name of lest he get in trouble (because I immediately told him I was going to have to blog about it), but I'm allowed to tell you what kind:
A puppy mill website.
A website that matches buyers with puppy mills.
In other words, a disgusting establishment for disgusting people who I can only hope have the same quality of life as the puppies, and the parents of the puppies, that they buy.
Shut up, I said. This is where you work?
It's not that bad, he told me. We place puppies in their dream homes, he said, or some shit akin to that. And look how much they cost.
He then clicked on a picture of a dog that cost, I swear to God I'm telling the truth, $2,700. $2,700! For one dog. $2,700 for one dog while hundreds of thousands of dogs sit in shelters or roam the streets or head for euthanasia when their time is up. $2,700 and--get this--people fucking return them all the time.
This dog barks, he told me is a common complaint. This dog fucking barks, people say before returning them like a too-small pair of pants or sweater that's too tight. This dog barks, motherfucking irresponsible, selfish people who should never be allowed to buy a pet in the first place say before returning their almost $3000 designer dogs.
I hate to be repetitive, but fucking what? People ship back their dogs because they bark? Like, how? What? I mean, seriously. Fucking what?
I'd say far be it for me to offend people, but when it comes to people who are irresponsible with, or abusive to, animals, I really don't care. As an AP teacher, I understand that's counterproductive. Don't offend your audience is the number one rule. People are never going to listen if they're offended. The way I see it, though, is if someone is ignorant enough to spend the amount of money it would cost to buy 2700 shelter animals on one dog because they want a specific breed, they're too shallow to understand real reasoning anyway, and regarding those shallow people who return their dogs for whatever reason, whether it's that it eats things, it's too much responsibility, or yes, it fucking barks, they're obviously beyond redeeming.
He works for a company that facilitates the connection between puppy mills and people looking for dogs.
Is anyone else sick?
You're going to be mad at me, he said.
Why? Where do you work? I asked.
Never mind, he answered.
No, where do you work?
I don't want to tell you, he said.
Seriously, where do you work? Like what is this guy, twelve? (Refrain from the jokes, please. He's 28.)
Finally he took my laptop and typed a website in, a website that I'm not allowed to tell you the name of lest he get in trouble (because I immediately told him I was going to have to blog about it), but I'm allowed to tell you what kind:
A puppy mill website.
A website that matches buyers with puppy mills.
In other words, a disgusting establishment for disgusting people who I can only hope have the same quality of life as the puppies, and the parents of the puppies, that they buy.
Shut up, I said. This is where you work?
It's not that bad, he told me. We place puppies in their dream homes, he said, or some shit akin to that. And look how much they cost.
He then clicked on a picture of a dog that cost, I swear to God I'm telling the truth, $2,700. $2,700! For one dog. $2,700 for one dog while hundreds of thousands of dogs sit in shelters or roam the streets or head for euthanasia when their time is up. $2,700 and--get this--people fucking return them all the time.
This dog barks, he told me is a common complaint. This dog fucking barks, people say before returning them like a too-small pair of pants or sweater that's too tight. This dog barks, motherfucking irresponsible, selfish people who should never be allowed to buy a pet in the first place say before returning their almost $3000 designer dogs.
I hate to be repetitive, but fucking what? People ship back their dogs because they bark? Like, how? What? I mean, seriously. Fucking what?
I'd say far be it for me to offend people, but when it comes to people who are irresponsible with, or abusive to, animals, I really don't care. As an AP teacher, I understand that's counterproductive. Don't offend your audience is the number one rule. People are never going to listen if they're offended. The way I see it, though, is if someone is ignorant enough to spend the amount of money it would cost to buy 2700 shelter animals on one dog because they want a specific breed, they're too shallow to understand real reasoning anyway, and regarding those shallow people who return their dogs for whatever reason, whether it's that it eats things, it's too much responsibility, or yes, it fucking barks, they're obviously beyond redeeming.
He works for a company that facilitates the connection between puppy mills and people looking for dogs.
Is anyone else sick?
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