There's lube all over my house.
This may not seem blog worthy, but it's annoying enough that it is to me.
I've always been super open about sex with Griffin and Keifer, it's the truth. Since forever I've tried to make sure it was completely normalized and no shame or embarrassment was attached. The only two rules I ever set for them regarding sex was that I wanted them both to wait to have it until they were 15, which they did (although I'm sure that has more to do with circumstance than rules), and then once they were having it, I didn't want them to have sex in the house while I was home. Pretty much anything other than that was left up to them, a common sense free for all, I guess, but when you leave sex discretion up to teenaged boys, can you guess what happens to the common sense?
Lube all over the house. That's what happens to common sense.
Not too long ago, I got in the shower, and there it was right next to my shampoo: a bottle of lube. I've also found lube on the futon in my back room in the not so distant past, and tonight Griffin found a bottle of it next to the couch.
Fucking lube.
I'm happy Keifer isn't weirdly sexually repressed, make no mistake, but there's definitely such a thing as too not repressed. Well, at least involving one's mom. The things I know about Kei and sex--I'm talking likes, I'm talking dislikes, I'm talking locations, I'm talking details--are things no mother needs to know, and yet, no matter how many times I say something, I still stumble upon almost empty bottles of lube, which actually as I type that right now makes me think of an argument Keifer and I got into last week when he said he can't wait to get his own apartment so he can freely have sex. Apparently, our living situation prevents him from just whipping it out and shtupping Erica whenever he wants, and that's not acceptable, which now that that's been said brings me unexpectedly to what I argued with Kei on my end.
An Overview of What I Argued with Kei on My End
So my sixteen-year-old son has the nerve to complain to me that he can't have sex in the house whenever he wants because I'm home too much, yet that motherfucker never goes anywhere other than school which of course is when I'm at work which means unlike him, I really can't have sex in my house ever, like at all (okay, since the argument that's no longer true because BTJ and I totally had sex in my house on Monday night while Keifer was downstairs, but that's the first time I've done that since I got divorced). The number of times I've had sex in my car in the last three years because Keifer is always home and I date guys who still live at their parents' house is insane, and Keifer has the nerve to complain about sex to me and tell me he can't wait to move out? And then tell me it's entirely my fault that I'm in this situation because I'm the one with kids?
Ramble. Ramble, ramble, ramble. Ramble some more.
This post was rambling, I know, and didn't really seem to have a point--like did I want to write about Keifer's misguided comfort with sex where I'm concerned? About how maybe I don't like his "misguided" comfort with sex but being comfortable with sex is always something good? About how I might still be dating A if he ever could have come over when he had a chance? About how once when I complained to my ex-Glenn that I always have to have sex in my car because Keifer never goes to his house, he said, Here's a tip. Date an adult? About the irony that I'm the age I am with my own house but really can't have sex in it even though almost thirty years ago when I lived with my parents I had sex in my house all the time? To all these questions except the first, the answer started out as no and turned into a yes--but complete exhaustion coupled with 29 days' worth of posts has apparently made me incapable of writing with any type of focus and voila! You get a nearly incoherent mess (kind of like my entire life, but it is way too late to go into that).
This may not seem blog worthy, but it's annoying enough that it is to me.
I've always been super open about sex with Griffin and Keifer, it's the truth. Since forever I've tried to make sure it was completely normalized and no shame or embarrassment was attached. The only two rules I ever set for them regarding sex was that I wanted them both to wait to have it until they were 15, which they did (although I'm sure that has more to do with circumstance than rules), and then once they were having it, I didn't want them to have sex in the house while I was home. Pretty much anything other than that was left up to them, a common sense free for all, I guess, but when you leave sex discretion up to teenaged boys, can you guess what happens to the common sense?
Lube all over the house. That's what happens to common sense.
Not too long ago, I got in the shower, and there it was right next to my shampoo: a bottle of lube. I've also found lube on the futon in my back room in the not so distant past, and tonight Griffin found a bottle of it next to the couch.
Fucking lube.
I'm happy Keifer isn't weirdly sexually repressed, make no mistake, but there's definitely such a thing as too not repressed. Well, at least involving one's mom. The things I know about Kei and sex--I'm talking likes, I'm talking dislikes, I'm talking locations, I'm talking details--are things no mother needs to know, and yet, no matter how many times I say something, I still stumble upon almost empty bottles of lube, which actually as I type that right now makes me think of an argument Keifer and I got into last week when he said he can't wait to get his own apartment so he can freely have sex. Apparently, our living situation prevents him from just whipping it out and shtupping Erica whenever he wants, and that's not acceptable, which now that that's been said brings me unexpectedly to what I argued with Kei on my end.
An Overview of What I Argued with Kei on My End
So my sixteen-year-old son has the nerve to complain to me that he can't have sex in the house whenever he wants because I'm home too much, yet that motherfucker never goes anywhere other than school which of course is when I'm at work which means unlike him, I really can't have sex in my house ever, like at all (okay, since the argument that's no longer true because BTJ and I totally had sex in my house on Monday night while Keifer was downstairs, but that's the first time I've done that since I got divorced). The number of times I've had sex in my car in the last three years because Keifer is always home and I date guys who still live at their parents' house is insane, and Keifer has the nerve to complain about sex to me and tell me he can't wait to move out? And then tell me it's entirely my fault that I'm in this situation because I'm the one with kids?
Ramble. Ramble, ramble, ramble. Ramble some more.
This post was rambling, I know, and didn't really seem to have a point--like did I want to write about Keifer's misguided comfort with sex where I'm concerned? About how maybe I don't like his "misguided" comfort with sex but being comfortable with sex is always something good? About how I might still be dating A if he ever could have come over when he had a chance? About how once when I complained to my ex-Glenn that I always have to have sex in my car because Keifer never goes to his house, he said, Here's a tip. Date an adult? About the irony that I'm the age I am with my own house but really can't have sex in it even though almost thirty years ago when I lived with my parents I had sex in my house all the time? To all these questions except the first, the answer started out as no and turned into a yes--but complete exhaustion coupled with 29 days' worth of posts has apparently made me incapable of writing with any type of focus and voila! You get a nearly incoherent mess (kind of like my entire life, but it is way too late to go into that).
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